As a parent we make mistakes. It’s what happens and I believe that there is a reason that we as parents make mistakes. Not only for us to learn from so we can do better with the next, but also for our children to learn from them, and apply them to their lives AS THEY SEE FIT.
I’ve been having some thoughts lately that I feel I need to get out. So here it goes, and this is not directed toward any person – it’s just some values I’ve been learning as I’ve been growing. I believe that opinions you have on someone should stay to yourself. I do not believe that pushing your opinions, your values and how you think things should be is going to help. While we all learn from our parents mistakes we have to live life to learn from our own as well.
Marriage is a sacred bond between 2 people. 2 people. Not 3, not 4 and definitely not between all the parents, inlaws, grandparents, aunts, uncles – you get my drift. I believe that if a marriage is in trouble, leave it be. If the married couple wants to split that’s their choice. If the married couple is happy with their troubled marriage, let it be. If they’re happier than anyone you know, let it be. Do not talk about them to others. Let their situation be their situation. If they come to you to cry, to rant, to rave listen. Don’t tell them what you think has to be done, just listen. We all need to cry, rant & rave, but we don’t want to hear negativity of our own situations from others, and we definitely don’t want others to turn around and gossip.
If someone makes a decision for their lives that you believe is stupid or irresponsible, let it be. Keep your opinion to yourself, because it’s their life. It’s their dreams, it’s what they want. Most importantly, don’t go and talk about it with other people. Gossip is not good. Gossip destroys trust. Gossip destroys your soul, and I’m starting to realize this.
If you have an opinion on someone else’s life keep it to yourself, unless they ask for it. If someone calls you and needs someone to talk to, please listen and not judge.
I’m saying these things, because I feel sad when I hear people talking about other people’s marriages. I wouldn’t like that done to me, and I hope it never happens. We have to live life for ourselves and not for others.
Many people have actually suggested that I get my tubes tied since my IUD is going to be taken out. That offends me. That is by far the most personal decision that anyone will ever make and there is no way I’m going to do that. To me, having kids, not having kids and marriage issues are personal and outsiders should not have a say. I know this is all a little scattered, but I’ve grown into a person that is independent. I’ve come a long way and actually used to HAVE to have my mommy close by. If I was sick I was on her door step crying. For me to pick up and move and see how life is when you are by yourself, raising your family I have learned how important it is to not drag others into your situations. That is a huge step for me and I’m proud of myself. I’m happier this way and I hope that our family will be happy with any decisions that we make as a married couple and strong, solid family, because whatever decisions WE make in life is for us and not everyone else.
OK, I feel really good for getting that out.
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