What do I do?

What do you do when you have a friend with such severe problems in her life you almost want to turn your head and have no part in it?

There’s a girl who lives here that ever since Ella was a newborn has needed me to be her friend. The first time I met her it was I NEED YOU TO BE MY FRIEND. I’m sorry, but I should have clung to that and been there as a good friend to her. I then saw her smoking while being 9 months pregnant and lost all interest in being there for her.

I’m writing this post, because I’m struggling with something. I as a person try to please everybody. I can be there, even when I can’t. I can definitely do that, but honestly I can’t. I can be friends with everybody, but truthfully, I’m so busy I hardly have time for my work and family.

This girl has once again entered my life. Our babies are now 1 1/2 and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to be a friend to someone who needed one. I was on the phone with this friend yesterday and I had asked if she had the internet. Her reply was, “Well, yes and no. We don’t have a DSL cable.” Um… okay, a what?? I’ve never heard of a DSL cable. She too agreed that she’d never heard of it, and thanked me for confirming this. I asked, well, do you have a laptop or a desktop and she said laptop… but she’s banned from it.

WOA! Okay… back up… you’re an adult and you’re banned from a laptop? What kind of a marriage is this girl in???? She then starts opening up and trying to in not so many words tell me how miserable her life is, when I hear “GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!” and that was screaming from her husband. She said she had to go and got off the phone.

I don’t know what to do. I hate to turn my head and walk away, but I just don’t think I can handle another situation in somebody else’s life. I know she needs a friend, but I don’t think I can sit here and watch a friend go through a life like that. I doubt she’ll leave him, she’s a very insecure person who has a bad outlook on herself. I’m completely opposite from this and can’t understand why somebody would allow their lives to get to this point.

I guess I kinda need advice on what I should do. I have a lot on my plate and can’t take on another person’s problems, but what kind of person does that make me?

3 comments to What do I do?

  • Simple Complexity

    Walk away and never look back. Seriously I hate to say it but I have been there. When I was pregnant with L and then after I had here there was a friend who was in an abusive relationship, he cheated on her, beat her was selling and doing coke and whatnot. She asked me that if I ever saw him somewhere with someone else to let her know. Well we did one night and I as her friend told her, she turned around and basically threw our friendship out the window. She hurt me b/c we got close. I helped her out and in the end it was a big mess. She and another friend even started lying to our apt complex telling them I was harassing them etc. which was not true. So yeah walk away from the drama, otherwise you’ll regret it.

  • Aimee Kieffer, aka "Momzoo"

    Your first priority should be your family. If being a friend to this person adds stress and is disrupting walk away.

    There are some people in this world that love the drama and love being in the center of all the drama. Don’t let them drag you in, it will disrupt the peace and harmony of your own home.

    I personally choose not to have friends like that. I don’t have time for the drama, I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I get frusterated when people only complain and never do anything about their situation. I choose friend that are uplifiting and supportive.

  • Kimberlee

    Is she LDS? Or does she attend another church somewhere?

    If she is LDS contact her Relief Society President.

    Her problems sound like they really are too big for you and your family. But someone needs to see how safe she is or isn’t. And I think her church leaders if she has any might be the people who can better do this.

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