The Hard Parenting Moments

Stepping out of the bathroom with a huge grin on your face because YOU ARE PREGNANT, you aren’t thinking about the challenges that are going to come along with those 2 beautiful pink lines.

I can still remember walking out of the bathroom and my husband being on the phone with his dad and me smiling holding up the test.  I just was imagining all the cute little baby clothes, and baby feet, and first steps and tickles and giggles.  What I wasn’t thinking about was the challenges that would arise.

What I wasn’t thinking about was that one day while at the park my son was going to be called gay, because he had to encounter heartless children that unfortunately are not being raised with any morals what so ever.

My innocent, little son because he told a kid “Nice bike” is deemed “gay”.  My son knows what being gay is, because he has a gay aunt.  My son knows what being gay is, because this isn’t the first time he’s been called a derogatory name like this by a child who unfortunately is being raised by parents who have no grounds to even be able to have a child.

I as an adult can understand why children act like this.  I can comprehend the fact that this is what they are being raised around.  But my almost 9 year old son cannot.  His sweet little soul asked me, “Why would they call me that?  I’m not gay.” All I can say to my son is…

“You are going to go through your life encountering people who are nasty, people who have a very hateful outlook on this world and towards people.  You are going to have many people attack you as a person because you have morals, you know what’s right and what’s wrong and you care about other people.  Instead of feeling hurt inside over these words that are crushing, I think it’s a wonderful opportunity to pray that whatever it is that’s hurting these people in their lives that they find peace.  Pray that they will soften their hearts and stop lashing out on the world for their own miseries.

No matter what, always know that if you can keep yourself composed and never stoop down to their level and always just wish the best among all of those around you, especially those who hurt you, you will be extremely blessed for this.  I promise that instead of feeling bad inside, you will feel good inside.  You’ll feel like you gave that person something they don’t have, and something they probably never were blessed with.”

As a mom this hurts.  I don’t ever want my children to feel the hurt that can come with other children’s anger and hatred towards the world…. Or should I say their parent’s anger and hatred shining through them?

21 comments to The Hard Parenting Moments

  • What a powerful lesson for your son…to learn that he should pray for those people who say hurtful things. Hopefully, one day, the world will be a much different place because of him and all that you have taught him.
    Helene recently posted..Pouring my heart outthe bagel shop was probably not the best place to have this conversation

  • Tiffany

    It is sad that the children today, many of them do not have morals. I try to teach my children good values and morals and it’s very hard in a world that crushes everything I do. You are a great mom for telling your son this. And yes would should pray for those who have hardened hearts. We shall not stoop to their level and retaliate back.
    Great post.

  • Trying to explain to our kids about the cruelty they might encounter- I’m not looking forward to dealing with this at all.

    Btw, love the new site! I unfollowed and then refollowed to be sure that your feed would show up for me!

    • Amanda

      Thanks, Shell! It’s so different from Garibay Soup, but I’m loving it! And definitely loving wordpress.

      It’s never a joy to explain these things to our children…. it’s even worse knowing they are going to have to encounter these type of people.

  • I haven’t had to deal with other kids bullying my kids yet but I am sure that it will start soon and thanks to you, I will now know what to tell my children when this happens. Beautiful post.

    • Amanda

      Thank you so much! It will make not only them feel better, but you as well. Trust me…. the things that were going through my mind and things I wanted to do {I kept thinking.. if only their parents were here} but that’s not what I need to teach my children. So I do feel better about how I handled it, even if at the time rising above it was difficult.

  • Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job teaching your son. I am sorry about the circumstances.

    I’ve often said the only way around a situation is to rise above it.

    Stopping by from Pour Your Heart Out.

    • Amanda

      I’m trying I know that society will have a big role in how he reacts to others, so while I have him young and at home I just gotta try my hardest to show him that there is other ways to deal with people like this.

  • It’s so hard when our children are hurt beyond our control and protection. It is hard to imagine that one day we won’t be able to protect them from everything, but I try to forget that part.. we can only do our best and teach them love.
    Ashley @ Just Another Mom Of 2 recently posted..Being Mommy is -Part- of who I am

  • cristina

    I found you through PYHO and your post brought tears to my eyes. You are teaching your little guy some wonderful lessons.

    • Amanda

      Thanks for stopping by, Cristina :) The whole situation brought me to tears. It’s never fun seeing your baby {even if he isn’t a baby anymore} having to discover how cruel our world can be.

  • Thanks for sharing from your heart today AND thanks for raising a child who is kind and thoughtful. You are doing a wonderful job!

    • Amanda

      Thank you, Brooke! A mom can never hear that enough. I’m not perfect, but I definitely do try my hardest. Thank you for stopping by!!

  • This just breaks my heart. It is no doubt the hardest job you will ever have, to be a parent.

    Please know that the love, and values you instill in your son will get him through…
    Tonjia recently posted..Eureka!!!

    • Amanda

      Thank you, Tonjia. Being a mom seriously is the hardest job EVER. You have so many emotions involved with it, and when they hurt… you hurt! Thanks for stopping by :)

  • I remember when my first child was a baby, I saw a talk show on bullying and I cried & cried, thinking how much that would hurt if my kids were ever bullied.
    I don’t understand parents who raise their children that way. I think if my kids ever bullied someone, I would feel like such a horrible parent. It’s our job to teach compassion & The Golden Rule.
    So sorry about your sweet son. =(

    • Amanda

      Thank you, Cindy. I’ll never understand why a lot of parents do the things they do and parent the way the do, it makes me feel so sad for everyone that ends up being effected by it.

  • Amanda – I LOVE YOUR BLOG and am soo pumped I’m here!!

    I am sooo worried about all of this. Meanwhile, on my daughter’s 2nd day of 2nd grade, she comes BAWLING off the bus, crying “I was JUST BULLIED by a 5th grader”. She really was.

    I had to explain why peeps are cruel. She didn’t understand. Luckily, they didn’t call her a dyke, but there’s about 40 more weeks of school left.

    I AM SOOOO HAPPY TO CONNECT w/you!!!

    With the 4 kids, I’m sooo worried about ALL of this, esp . the “serious” conversations (of which I’ve had a few with my 2 oldest being 6 and 7 now).

    UGH!

    • Amanda

      Kat, I struggle with this SO MUCH! Our son is a little different…. very sweet spirited, and has a strand of Autism {not diagnosed yet… in the process of getting it done} BUT the thing with his Autism that he has you don’t realize it unless you’re his teacher or his parent ~ he’s VERY social. So he can’t grasp certain things like why people do the things they do. We’ve dealt with bullies before with him and it crushes me and makes me want to pull him out of school, wrap him up in a blanket and rock him. Okay, maybe not that extreme LOL BUT IT FLIPPING KILLS ME!

      As for your little girl, that’s SCARY! When you’re in 2nd grade a 5th grader is so big and that feeling SUCKS. What in the world are we able to do when we’re dealing with kids who obviously come from a home that this kind of behavior is made and our kids are the ones that have to suffer in society.

      I totally understand why some parents choose to home school.

      I’m SO excited to be connecting with you too! I fell in love with your blog the moment I arrived at it and your family is straight up ADORABLE!

      Cheers to a new bloggy friendship :)

    • Amanda

      had to add one more thing…. the serious conversations make me sweat just thinking about them! My poor husband had to get asked the “What happens with puberty?”

      Where he even heard the word is beyond me. I must say I am smiling that he asked his father and not me. God help me with all the future “serious” conversations!

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