Pour Your Heart Out…. In Laws

Believe it or not I hate drama. I say believe it or not, because it seems like we ALWAYS have drama going on with family. So I’m here to pour it all out.

I’ve never had a good relationship with my inlaws. They have this preconceived idea in their minds about me, and it’s never changed. We’ve basically played fake with each other for the past 10 years. I’ve always known they didn’t like me, and with how they’ve treated me in the past…. sadly, I’ve never respected them.

The thing that gets me is the act they’ve put on with how wonderful they’ve been to my husband and his brother….. the people gave them a place to live and THAT IS IS. That’s not being a parent. What did they do to set them up for success in life? NOTHING. My husband turned 18 and for Christmas he got tubberware and basically a rush for him to move out so they could play house with his step-mom’s real children. Did they prepare him for college? NOPE. But they have this attitude that they have done so much for them. Sorry, but the fact that his dad is biologically his dad he had no choice….. and doing the absolute minimum for your children is not what I would call a fantastic father.

But the above is not my opinion, the above is my husband’s opinion. The above is how my husband has always felt. Marrying me and starting OUR family is where my husband has discovered what true parenting is really all about.

With that said – it seems that we are having a major issue here based on the fact that I wouldn’t allow my inlaws to camp out and take over my entire downstairs area with their 2 big, teenage children and themselves…. sleeping on my couch and literally making it so there is nowhere comfortable to sit, 4 DAYS AFTER I GIVE BIRTH TO MY DAUGHTER. The comments of “I don’t think you should even have to ask to visit family” makes me laugh. Um, I’m sorry you feel that way, but when you coming to visit actually means me basically not having a house then you bet your ass you’re gonna ask if you can come visit. On normal circumstances, it’s okay to come and visit and take over my entire downstairs of my house, of course with notice …. but 4 DAYS AFTER I GIVE BIRTH ~ I’m sorry, but even the idea entering your head that this would be okay is not okay to me.

I’m of course the devil who is brain washing my husband even though my husband is a grown man who has always had his own opinions on his family. He didn’t need any brain washing from me. I can’t help but giggle at the fact that they really think that.

To be honest, my husband I are so sick of family drama that we just can’t do it. My family is filled with it, now his family is filled with it and it’s just exhausting! Especially right after we have our baby and then her having to be admitted back into the hospital.

I can say this much…. moving to Oregon away from all of them was by far the smartest thing we ever did.

21 comments to Pour Your Heart Out…. In Laws

  • Wow. My FIL wanted to do the same thing. He asked to come down and bring his girlfriend right after the baby was born. Being sane, and also opposed to having strange women who aren’t in any way related to us staying overnight, I told him no house guests so soon after the baby was born. He was cool about it, and there was no drama. We don’t do drama. So, sooooo lucky to have married into a family that doesn’t do that. My family is also just as laid-back, so I don’t have to put up with much stress at all. My sister’s in-laws? Haha. I’m really glad I got the husband I did, and not hers.
    Cindy recently posted..What Our Unschedule Looks Like

  • I remember that!! I remember you talking about that on twitter. You are so beyond blessed that you don’t have drama in your family or your husbands. My family is one big dramatic mess and my husband’s family waits for me to say something to piss them off enough to start a not speaking to war with us. I’ve gotten to the point with it all that I just don’t let any of it affect me too much. I am so blessed to have my little family and an amazing and wonderful husband that all that crap truly doesn’t matter at the end of the day.

  • Oh wow. And with new mom hormones, I would probably lose it on them completely.

  • Boy some people are sure clueless and inconsiderate. At least your husband is not like that and family is the most important thing! Just enjoy your new little precious bundle!
    Tylaine recently posted..Gratitude

  • In Laws can be so difficult…even when you like them, you can be so annoyed by them and their behaviors. Sorry you’re having to deal with this when there is a much more pressing matter to deal with…
    Sarah recently posted..We never use those words around here…

  • Hi, I found you from Shell’s site.

    I get it. Mine isn’t inlaws, but I do have a brother who still only sees me as the mess I was – WHEN YOU WERE 3 YEARS OLD

    Wow, and amen about the parents who do the absolute minimum. Please tell your hubs, as one man to another, I respect him for coming out of that and doing it the right way.

    And family is wonderful – but the family drama – no.

    God Bless you and your hubs

    • Thanks for stopping by, Craig. I always love having a new visitor come around here :)

      The whole thing with my in laws is so unfortunate, but thankfully my husband “took notes” on how they were growing up and decided to be everything they never were. Which in turn makes him a fabulous father and husband!!

  • wow-okay, that is beyond frustrating!
    My mil came to stay with us when my bambino was only a week old, she was supposed to stay 1 night with us and then move over to a hotel and ended up staying with us the entire week-she never left! And we did not see eye to eye on parenting techniques and at one point she started to re-arrange my tea drawer-I was so frustrated but I wasn’t as strong as you so alas, I never stood up for myself :(
    Good for you for standing your ground-you are one amazing woman :)
    Jenn recently posted..Raising a Reader

    • Why is it that in laws can just have absolute no respect sometimes? I’ve bit my tongue many times in the past and refused to with the birth of Aliyah. There’s a good chance that she could be my last baby and I want things to go EXACTLY as I wanted them too. So, I stuck up for myself and in turn we have extreme family drama ~ it’s to the point that I don’t think my in-laws will be in our lives anymore. It’s fine with us, but it’s really sad for them because they’re missing out on the most amazing children.

  • I’m just getting to some of the PYHO links from Shell’s blog.

    That would be a big fat -NO WAY here! LOL I cannot even imagine having company(much less in-laws that I don’t mesh with) after coming home from the hospital!

    It’s funny b/c my recent posts have been about my son’s delivery and so forth, and today I posted some terrible looking pics of me during recovery. Looking at those pics, and thinking about in law company make me want to to FREAK OUT!
    Adrienne recently posted..Id do it all again! Part 2

    • The thought of my in-laws being here after me coming home from the hospital totally made me want to FREAK OUT too! I’m just happy that I stuck up for myself and said no…. even if that means them hating us.

  • I think it’s safe to say that family, especially in-laws is synonymous with drama. Congrats for knowing when to get out!
    Sandra recently posted..I feel so betrayed!

  • I would’ve totally lost it. I got into it with my MiL after my daughter was born. We found out that she has PKU and my MiL kept denying that her perfect family could not carry the recessive gene for it so it must just be all from me. She said that everyone she talked to said that it was from the mom only. I was devastated! In all reality it is a recessive gene trait that has to come from both parents so yes her son has it too. It got ugly but after that she has respected me more. Although I will never forget that time.
    Jayme (The Random Blogette) recently posted..My Kids Suck

  • Oh gosh – Dont they know new mom hormones are not to be messed with??
    Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo recently posted..Vanilla Pudding Oatmeal Cookies

  • I feel like I’ve stumbled upon my sister’s blog, minus the birth of your baby (congratulations!). It is so odd when the parents are the ones with hands out, expecting child(ren) to bend over backwards for them.
    Lovely to have found you on this New Year.
    Jean Has Been Shopping recently posted..Be A Rock Star

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