This is why being a mom is hard!

My kid does not have friends.

It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s not in school, because he had no friends there for the 3 1/4 years he was there.

As I’ve mentioned before, he has a language disability and it makes him socially awkward.  This in turn makes other kids and probably their parents think he’s weird and then they don’t give him a chance to open up and know the sweet, lovable, amazing Jayden that there is to know.  If you ask him who his best friend is he usually will say this girl he went to school with who probably doesn’t even pay any mind to him.  It’s heart breaking to me, and I can only ask a parent so many times if their kid will play with my kid.

Jayden is going to be 10 years old and it’s not okay to not have a friend that you can invite over to hang out with you, ride bikes with, play video games – just plain out be a kid with!

He’s okay with it.  He’s happy and enjoys doing the things that he loves like video games and playing games with his 3 year old sister, but a 10 year old’s best friend is not supposed to be a 3 year old.  I have him involved in activities and he enjoys them while he’s there – but that’s the extent of Jayden’s social life.  Tonight I picked him up from boyscouts to see him running around and around and around singing this song that’s in his head while the other kids are just quietly standing there.  He’s different!  We’re all different!  Why in the hell is it so hard to my son to have a damn friend who will accept him for who he is?!  We’re Mormon!  Hell, shouldn’t some of the kids in our ward befriend him?  No.  He doesn’t get invited to the birthday parties, he doesn’t get invited to ANYTHING – Jayden is ALWAYS the one left out and forgotten.

Look at him – he’s the sweetest kid you’d ever meet.  I don’t get it.  And I really don’t know what to do about it, because my heart is breaking.  

These are reasons why being a mom is hard. Not the fact that you have to actually take care of them, pay attention to them, feed them – all of that is easy peasy in my book! It’s the worrying about their health, their heart, their feelings, how this horrible, cruel world will treat them.

 

 

22 comments to This is why being a mom is hard!

  • I think the hardest part is knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. Some kids *are* just different. He is beautiful, and he *will* be ok! Just hang in there and know that he has time to figure it out. I didn’t figure it out until I was about 30. :-) I’m praying for you guys.
    Cindy recently posted..The Non-Ideological Homeschooler Would Like You to Go Away Now- Please

    • That totally is the hardest part, Cindy. It’s one of the areas I have absolutely no control over and that’s so hard. You more than anyone that I ever talk to understands what it is that he goes through. Thank you for all of your love and support :)

  • Oh, he’s so handsome. And one day, he will have a true friend who sees how special he is!

  • I have a child that is exactly the same way. All you can do it love him, and he will find his own way in the world.

  • I understand how you feel my daughter has autism and thus no real friends and my son struggles to be accepted by other kids as well and it is heartbreaking. My prayer for all these kids is that they find their niche some day.

    • We thought that Jayden was autistic up until he got his diagnosis of Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder & SPD instead. It’s all so heartbreaking. I sure do hope they all find their niche too.

  • Oh Amanda. My heart breaks for you. He is such a sweet and handsome boy. I wish you lived closer so our boys could play together.
    Maybe those boys need a lesson on friendship. I don’t think kids that age are intentionally mean, they’re just ignorant about people who are different.

    • I don’t think they’re being intentionally mean – I just think they’ve all found their friends and Jayden just never fit their needs in that area. I wish you lived close too!!

  • He is such a sweet boy! My heart breaks for you. This truly is the hardest part of being a mom. The worrying, when things are essentially out of our control, is the difficult part. He will find somebody who accepts him for him. He will be ok!

    Coming by from PYHO!
    Kimberly recently posted..Eleven Wonderful Years

    • I tell myself he will be okay – heck he IS okay. I’m the one who’s sad over it, not him. I just don’t think he gets it – part of his language disability. *sigh*

  • Aw! My heart hurts for all the sweet kids who, for whatever reason, don’t seem to fit the mold. I pray he will find a true-blue friend. Sounds like you’re doing the right thing, getting him involved and meeting people. He IS a sweet looking fella!
    Jennifer recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out- The Sad Truth

  • It’s so hard, isn’t it?! Mine is just about 3 and I don’t have this issue to deal with, but I understand wanting to protect him and wanting him to have everything he should have. You’re right – that would be hard.

    Visiting from PYHO.
    MamaRobinJ recently posted..Four Weeks

  • Sam

    I wish we lived closer! From what you’ve described of him my son would love to be his friend. He’s a gifted 11 yr old, but also tries to run away from that giftedness by running around singing while everyone else is standing still.

    My “average” children are not often invited to things simply because I raised them to be honest, helpful, respectful children who don’t feel they have to like the “coolest” things. In a way, I’m happy about that. That means that the friends they do get in life will be people who accept them for who they are and not for who they think they should be.

    BIG HUGS to you and your son. You guys look like wonderful people :)
    Sam recently posted..Homeschool Mothers Journal

  • The experiences with my two girls revolving around “boy issues” – they’re 15 and 21 today – were, in retrospect, the most difficult to endure with them, and obviously the 15 year old has yet to really begin. Oh, how my heart would ache.

    Surely when we empathize for them while working through pain, especially that caused by another individual, these are the most difficult times, this is my experience, I should say.
    Your son is so handsome – fabulous photo!!
    ~d
    Dawn recently posted..Sherical Egg-Heads

  • There’s nothing worse than watching that cold, cruel world wreak havoc on your children. It sounds like you AND your son are amazing.
    Beth recently posted..Deep Breaths and New Beginnings

  • Wow–I wish I had words of encouragement for you and I really don’t. This is tough–I don’t understand. But you are right, it. is. not. okay. The way we let children treat other children is not. o. k. I’m so sorry! I am praying for your son and his mama because man, is this tough.
    Reagan recently posted..What I Think About- Abundant Life

  • Oh, this just makes my heart ache. Poor Jayden, poor Mama. I hope one day soon, he meets a kid that is just the right friend for him!

  • That is SO hard. Too bad we don’t live closer. :-) Not to brag on my kids, but my girls (and especially my Dot) are so good about not giving a flying leap what kids seem different. Dot’s best friends always have disabilities and they are the sweetest most amazing kids ever. It will be ok – and he will be stronger because of it, etc. but it sure doesn’t make it easier as a mom. Hugs!!

  • Sharon

    I do not have children and never will.I wish I had a child and lived near you because I would have a child who would be his friend. That is the only way I would have ever raised children is to be loving and accepting of others. I really have to question the people you know who have children who could be he his friend.???? What is wrong with them that they don’t see the value in that for their child as well as yours???? He does need a friend and I will continue to pray that he finds one who deserves HIM !

  • Jeanette

    I stumbled upon this post. I’m having similar challenges with my 3 year old, Alexander. He has a speech delay and unfortunately, that has also delayed his social skills. Have you ever tried to talk to the other mothers directly? I understand that you’re religious. If they could understand your struggle, I can’t imagine there would be no empathy. But we are so busy as parents, we don’t always see the obvious. And obviously, the other mothers should be taking the time to teach their children that we love and play with everyone! I hope that works. I’ve spoken to mothers in my church about Alexander, and I was surprised when one of them told me she had the same concerns about her son (who seemed so well adjusted to me!) And if a mother isn’t receptive to you or your son’s needs, then take note, because her child is not the kind of child you want your son playing with, whether or not he has problems socializing.

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