Category Archives: Aliyah

Aliyah is 1 month!

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One month….

Towards the end of my pregnancy the days would drag and I felt so anxious inside to meet my beautiful little Aliyah.  Now that she’s here, the weeks are flying by and she’s getting older and older and now *gasp* my newborn is a month old.

In the past month she’s been hospitalized twice for jaundice and slept more than my ever two did.

She spits up just about as much as her sister Ella did.

She is a breastfeeing CHAMP!  I can’t even begin to describe my excitement here on this one.  My other two didn’t get breastfed and I was PETRIFIED that it was going to hurt.  Well, it never did and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.

She hasn’t truly smiled yet.  She’s smiled, and her smile lights up my soul, but it wasn’t intentional.  So I’m still waiting for that smile she gets when she looks at her mama.  Nothing’s better.

She loves to snuggle and is happiest when laying on my chest or wrapped in the moby.

She’s an extremely good baby and usually cries only when she’s uncomfortable {not wrapped}, hungry, tired or just wants to be snuggled.  They say that your 3rd baby is usually your best baby, and I gotta say she’s pretty dang good!

We’re getting to the point of being accustomed to our new life as a family of 5.  I even venture out into the world all by myself with no issues.  I totally have to say that if it wasn’t for the moby wrap though, this would NOT be happening.

I’m so in love with this little ball of perfectness.

And Jayden had to make a sign about how she feels……

And Ella had to get in the picture action {of course} so here you have my three, amazing kids

Sisters

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Tonight I caught my girls looking quite delightful like this…………

and while snapping that picture, eyes closed and the quietness of our night began………

and my heart had the most peaceful feeling overcome it. These girls will always have each other. These girls will always be sisters, and will always have that life long best friend that every girl needs.

I didn’t expect the love to be alive so early. I prepared myself for jealousy, and resistance – I was blessed with love instead. These little moments shower me with a vision of the most delicious, delectable bond that my girls will have with each other.

My family doesn’t put relationships with each other in the highest importance.  It’s so sad to me that in my family most relationships are damaged and treated like trash.  I know it’s cruel to say, but it’s real.  Even my own relationship with my sister is non existent.  Not by my choice, because I love my little sister with every ounce of my soul.  She’s my sister, she’s supposed to be my best friend.  But unfortunately, she’s at a place right now where she doesn’t want her family.  And that’s okay.  All that we can do is be here for when she realizes that we’re here unconditionally…. we will all always love her; whether she realizes this in 6 months or 6 years.

With my family, my husbands family and the dysfunction we stem from, I am determined to give my children a solid FAMILY foundation.  I don’t want my children to ever turn on each other, became hateful towards one another, and choose to destroy their relationships with each other.

I will never stand for it.  PERIOD.

I want to always see my children like this with each other ~

and while I know things won’t always be perfect, I am determined for my children to realize and know in their heart how important they are to one another.

Effecting my other babies

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Today is 2 weeks & 5 days of us being a family of 5.  I don’t think it’s been going extremely fast as I feel like Aliyah has been here with us a lot longer than that.  But she hasn’t and I’m sitting back and realizing how different things actually are.

I didn’t expect things to change much, because what’s another kid in the scheme of things?  Things are actually changing with the other two.  Things that I don’t want to change are changing.  I’m holding a lot of this in and it’s probably not a good thing, but I’m very emotional about the differences in their personalities that I’m noticing.

Jayden’s not listening as well as he did before.  I’ve been frustrated with him and my patience is worn so thin already from Ella’s new behavior issues that I just at times CAN’T HANDLE ANYTHING MORE.  It seems like when I’m at my breaking point Jayden starts acting out.  Then I sit here thinking….. holy crap what in the world am I going to do?  Then after I’m acting frustrated and irritated with Jayden I start to feel so guilty.  I expect him to always be good and be my helper, but I can’t expect these things always from him.  He’s 9, and he’s so patient and understanding when it comes to his sisters.  He knows that they’re younger and that they require more attention, and he never complains.  I owe it to him to be patient with him.  I owe it to him to make sure that I am putting aside time EVERY, SINGLE DAY for just the two of us.  Just the two of us to talk, to read, to watch a movie together….. I HAVE to make sure that he’s getting his special attention from his mom.  I HAVE to remember that he needs praise for all of the things that he does for me.  I can’t forget to let him know how grateful I am for all the help he gives me, for the hard work he puts into his school work, and for the amazing big brother he is to both of his sisters.

My Ella.  Oh my sweet, sweet girl who seriously has my heart grasped in her little hand.  She’s been my baby for the past 3 1/2 years and all of a sudden when I look at her I don’t see baby anymore; I see a girl.  Ever since I came home from the hospital she doubled in size.  She’s become more independent and doesn’t “need” me as much anymore.  I still cling to the snuggles I get when she crawls into my bed in the middle of the night.  As much as I don’t like her in my bed, it still gives me a sense of her still being my baby girl in a way.  She’s been amazing with her new baby sister.  No jealousy, just love.  She’s been a struggle though in other ways.  She isn’t listening.  At all.  To the point where I seriously just want to freak the freak out.  My patience with her has worn EXTREMELY thin and I find myself just praying that we can have one day of her cooperating and not making things difficult for me.  Actually, not even a day…. half of a day would be lovely.

But I need to realize that life for them has changed.  For Jayden it’s changed drastically, because not only has a new baby entered his life – he’s now being homeschooled.  I need to find the patience within me that they need.  I need to realize that they’re acting out because life as they knew it has changed.

Many people have told me that 3 kids is hard, and I’m realizing now that it’s the effect on the other children that makes it hard.  Adding Aliyah into the mix isn’t hard; she’s not hard.  It’s just having everybody find their new place in this growing family.  It’s me having to allow Ella to become a little girl as she so abruptly flees from being my baby.  It’s making sure that Jayden doesn’t feel like he’s getting lost in the mix of little ones.  These are the things that are hard as a mom for me.  My heart aches thinking that they might silently be struggling inside with the new changes in our life.

But in the end I know they love Aliyah so much, and I know that this too shall pass.  And until then I will lavish in these beauties that I call mine.

Aliyah’s First Tanning Bed

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I’m sitting in the hospital with little miss Aliyah and can’t connect my computer to the Wifi and thought to myself ~ what a perfect time to try to blog from my DROID.

Aliyah was born with something called Coombs. The word made me squeemish and wonder what the %*#! But once the doctor explained it a little more I relaxed. Aliyah has the blood type of A+ and I have the blood type of O- so basically my blood was attacking her blood, which makes her belirubin levels high.  For the first few days of her life the levels weren’t alarmingly high, but as of yesterday they were.  She was looking a little too yellow and after getting her blood tested it was decided she needed to be admitted into the hospital and spend some time under lights.

It’s really been uneventful, she spends most of her time in the incubator and comes out every 2 hours to eat and get snuggles from her mama.

I just can’t get enough of this baby girl and feel so happy and so blessed to have her in our family.  She’s such a good baby so far!  She loves to just snuggle into me and I just love to breathe her in.  I look at her and am in complete awe at how she’s mine, and she’s Gino’s, and she looks equally like her brother and her sister ~ she’s a new little puzzle piece to our beautiful family.  I’m still on a cloud 9 high over her.