Category Archives: Life

What do I do?

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I’m happy where I’m at. I’m happy where I’m at in every aspect of my life. Especially where I live at. I never thought I could be happy away from my home, but strangely this has become my home.

We’re in a very scary economy, and people are losing their jobs left and right. It’s scary. It’s petrifying. I’m thankful, because I don’t feel like we’re going to be effected by this.

My job is different, I work at home. I do books for my grandmother’s mobile home and manage the park. It’s different, because I’m not physically at the park. I have my maintenance man that makes sure that things are running smoothly there, and it works. However, I’m being offered an opportunity that part of me thinks I’m stupid for turning down.

This opportunity would consist of Gino quitting his job. We would have Cobra insurance for a year, but after that I don’t know what we’d do. Maybe pay an extreme price for insurance, because I do have a cardiac baby, and insurance is necessary. We would move to a very small town and live in a manufactured house. A 4 bedroom, beautiful manufactured house, but it is what it is. Gino would not have to work. He would be free to go to school full time and get his degree. I would get my dealer’s license and sell mobile homes to fill up the park. It would be a 2 year plan. When all was said and done we would be able to buy some land here in Oregon, and be given a manufactured house to put it on.

I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to leave my happy place. I don’t want to go and join a ward that I don’t think I’d be happy in. I don’t want to leave the security that my husband does have at his work. I don’t want to uproot my children and put them in a school that I think would suck. I don’t want to not have a program like the YMCA for my children to go to. I don’t want to not be able to go to Target or the mall or Olive Garden or Applebee’s whenever I want. I don’t want to become depressed. I don’t want to live in a miserable town like Ely. I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I don’t want to.

But should I? Is it the best thing for our lives? Is 2 years all that much? The thought of it makes my stomach hurt and me want to cry. I’m happy. I love where I’m at in my life. I don’t want to ruin it.

I feel insecure and sick to my stomach. I don’t want to do this, but I know my Grandma needs me to. Who else is going to be able to sell mobile homes and fill that park up? There has to be another way.

Today and Tomorrow’s Inspiration

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I read this on my friend Tammy’s blog and had to put it here for others to read. This is probably one of the best things I’ve ever heard. So much that I’m considering putting it in a digital scrapbook page and printing and framing it.

She doesn’t know who wrote it, so I can’t acknowledge the writer as well, but….

“Each of us must direct our own lives, chart our own course and make our own decisions, and what is best for me is probably constraining for you. We too often forget the fact that what most of us need is to be nurtured, not improved. An emphasis on improvement confirms our inadequacies, while nurturing affirms who we really are and who really loves us. Too often we try to help others by seeking solutions to their problems, or giving them our plan for personal improvement when what they need is love, understanding and acceptance.

Let us remember these two things: that personal joy comes from appreciating the present and that the greatest gift we give to others is a nurturing heart.”

I think that if we all lived by what is said above that we would all be much more joyous and happier in our own personal lives.

Inspiration from the Bishop

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On Monday night we went to a Fireside at the Bishop’s house. He was putting it on for the missionaries, and our missionaries invited Gino and I. So, we dragged my Grandma along with me. I know she didn’t want to go, and honestly, Gino didn’t want to go either, but they’re both happier than you could imagine that they did go.

The Fireside was on his trip that he takes to Israel. The trip that my Grandma and Gino were supposed to go on, but this year they won’t be going. Hopefully next year they’ll get to go. The presentation was amazing. Our Bishop is the most spiritual, inspiring person I have met yet. His passion floors you.

I think it was kinda cool how he showed some scenarios that prove the Book of Mormon to be true. I guess I could write about the main one that was so amazing. They discovered a cave in the town of Lehi. Inside the cave there were ancient writing on the wall and they had an archeologist come in and analyze the writings. He determined them to be from 600 B.C. and that they talked of predictions of Jerusalem being destroyed and it had a sail boat and 4 men w/strong legs. The archeologist was confused as there was no large body of water near enough for a boat and he had a hard time putting it all together.

The archeologist went to the University of Utah where he got wind of the the story Nephi talks about in 1 Nephi. He was shocked and said, “Hey! How do you know that? Where does that story come from?” They handed him a Book of Mormon and he read the story and said, “Oh my gosh! This is it!!! This is the story in the cave!”

Hearing that story from the Bishop alone had chills all over me. My Grandma wants to meet with him once a week, and so does Gino. I’m sure he doesn’t have the time for something like that, but it sure would be nice.

It was inspiring. I left wanting to be a better person. I left wanting to try harder to read the scriptures. I left happy with my decision to be right where I’m at in my life right now. I’m not perfect, and I’ll never be perfect. However, I’m trying really hard, and I’m happy with that. I feel blessed that I’m a part of a ward with humble people. People that have not judged me and people who have loved to see how much the church is slowly changing my family’s life.

I have put my BOM reading on hold, and it’s going to stay on hold for a little bit longer. I’m going to start reading with Gino from the beginning. Then once I get to where I left off on my BOM blog I’ll continue writing.

Are you having anymore?

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I get this question a lot. Probably at least once a week from some random person. They ask, are you having anymore kids? Or are you done since you have a girl and a boy. I truly do feel blessed that I have a girl and a boy and can be done if that’s what we wish for. I’ve even been told that I should get my tubes tied, which honestly I don’t believe is anyone’s business. However, here’s my issue….

I love my sister. I love that I have a sister. I couldn’t imagine not having my sister in my life and I’ve really thought a lot about this after she came up to visit this weekend. I can’t guarantee that if I ever did decide to have another kid it would be a girl, but I don’t like the idea of Ella not having a sister. So, I have no intentions of having anymore kids anytime soon (Ella needs 6 years of quality time like Jayden got), but I don’t like the idea of never having anymore kids ever again. Yet, I feel like my family is complete. I guess what’s meant to be in life will be. I just think it would be sad if Ella never got the chance to have a sister.

Ironic

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We moved to Oregon a year and 3 months ago. When we had first moved here there was one time that we went to Lithia Park and was letting Jayden play. I was still pregnant with Ella. There was this girl there that we were talking with and she seemed like a really cool girl! Her husband was out of town in Las Vegas and she was there with her 3 kids. She talked about how she lived above this dentist office in a loft. That caught my attention, because I always thought living in a loft would be really cool!

We ended up going our separate ways and I was kindof sad that I never got her phone number. She seemed like the type of girl I would really get along with. Especially since I had just moved here and really had no friends.

Tonight we went to the YMCA to our Aqua Aerobics and when we walked in a friend from church was in the pool. Her name is Sandy. She was playing with her kids and we told her about how we were getting ready to do the class. She waited until her husband came down to watch the kids then she joined us. I asked her if she lived close by and she told us that she lived in a loft above a dentist’s office. I told her about how this one girl one time told us about living in a loft and it sounded really cool.

Well, the class ended and I get out of the pool and Gino tells me, “Sandy is that girl! The girl from Lithia park.” I looked at him like he was crazy. There was no way that the girl I really wanted to be friends with was a friend of mine. NO WAY! I finally walked over to Sandy and asked if she used to have her hair this way and did her husband go to Vegas last year, and sure enough… Sandy is her.

How cool is that?

Freak out panic – goals will help!

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Sometimes life just seems to fly by so fast and I feel like it’s slipping through my fingers. I’ve finally been given the perfect opportunity to be able to work at home and raise my kids and I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am to be in a position like that. Yet, I still feel like the world is moving so fast.

Ella will be 1, Jayden will 7, I’m turning 26 and my husband just turned 27. Wow. I remember my mom being 26. Sadly, it seems like it was just yesterday and that scares the crap out of me. There’s so many things that I need to do and want to do and instead right now I’d like to put my face in a pillow and scream.

I was on a great track, with a great schedule. Things were getting done and all was happy!!! I feel a little unbalanced right now, and I need to get myself and my children back on a healthy schedule. I need to have a home cooked meal on my table for my family at least 5 days/week. I need Ella to be on a set napping/eating schedule and I need to have a set working schedule. It’s hard with Ella, but there’s no reason that anything should feel out of control ~ and honestly it really isn’t.

Lately Ella hasn’t wanted me to do anything but sit on the floor and stare at her. She’s a total Leo! She wants all the attention and the world needs to be centered on her ~ sometimes it’s hard. However, now I finally get to see what my mom got to deal with. Yes, I too am a Leo.

I’ve taken time to get organized, and I’m not 110% there yet, but I will be. I think that once things are perfectly filed and organized & my spreadsheets are updated and accounts reconciled things will be okay with me. My job honestly does not take up that much time, but it does if things aren’t organized the way they’re supposed to be.

I’m giving myself 2 weeks to be caught up on everything in my life. I need my schedules back, I need my family to feel like a family again and I need to have SET working hours.

I think I need to start off by setting myself some daily goals. Things I MUST accomplish in my home, my family, my work & myself. Sadly, sometimes there’s not enough hours in the day, but I need to start allocating my time better. I owe it to my family & myself. Tomorrow is a new day….. Here are tomorrows goals:

Work:
1) Spend 30 minutes on filing (this will probably accomplish it all)
2) Send off deposits
3) Pay all bills

In regards to my work – there’s a lot to do right now, and there’s a lot of ideas that I’m working on to make the business better. I’m going to work on a master list and I think this is going to help out so much!

Household:

1) Do 3 loads of laundry – 1 of which is bedding
2) Babyproof my room/office
3) Clean kitchen (since I’m too tired to do it tonight)

With Jayden:

1) In the morning work on reading workbook & 1 math sheet
2) Play board game w/him during the evening

I feel better. Getting things out in a list always makes me feel better. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day!

It’s the little things that keep me up late!

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Why is it that I think I have everything accomplished and can go to bed and then I realize I forgot to close the lid to the washer. My husband’s clothes have to be dry in order for them to be on him at 3:30am…. lovely ~ I’ve been going going going since 6:30am ~ I’M SO READY FOR BED!

Today we actually had a summer like day. I took the kids for Thursday Park Day to the water park and Ella didn’t like it AT ALL. Jayden LOVED IT! In fact, I anticipate many days there this summer.

I was hoping that I can find a cord for my video camera before I uploaded and talked about Jayden’s graduation, so please bear w/me here ~ I have some super cute pictures coming and tears to talk about.

Tomorrow my sister Britney is coming over for the first time. She’s never been to Ashland, so I offered to take her there. I’m going to hire her to help me with some filing and hopefully we have a jolly day. She’s a really cool girl, but I’m still a little weary of it all. I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m getting to know her as a person, not a sister right now.

A Mama Woops

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Today was long! I changed Ella’s diaper tonight and got up, threw her diaper in the garbage and then went to FINALLY get on my blog and talk about how my son graduated from Kindergarten yesterday and how Ella has another tooth and all the things that I’m just now too exhausted to talk about, when….. my husband says “Are you just not gonna put another diaper on her?”

I walk in the living room and Ella’s sitting there with the Xbox 360 remote right in between her legs. A part of me was secretly hoping that she would pee all over it, but of course that would never happen. No. She’ll just wait until she finds a great opportunity to pee all over me.

It’s official ~ I’m losing it. At least I did this at home and not in public.

Echo Echo Ecccchhhhooooo

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I know, I know, it’s like there’s an echo going on here, but here I am to update as to why. I’ve been running around like a crazy, mad woman, and things are so different with Norm and my Grandma living here.

It got to the point in only a week I was done. I was tired of it and I didn’t want to leave my family behind anymore to tend to them. I know, I’m terrible. SO! I came up with a solution…..

Here is my new trusty schedule and they MUST abide by it or I pack up and move a little more North…. and I’m not kidding 🙂

Sunday: Church and then after church BBQ @ Grandma’s house w/Norm and Grandma

Monday: LEAVE ME ALONE DAY I HAVE TO WORK!

Tuesday: In the morning I work – in the afternoon we go for a stroll through Lithia Park

Wednesday: In the morning I work – in the afternoon I take Norm to his massage & then we all go out to dinner

Thursday: LEAVE ME ALONE DAY I HAVE TO WORK!

Friday: In the morning I drop the kids off with my Grandma and go to read to Norm – in the afternoon I work

Saturday: The morning is ME time ~ In the afternoon we’ll take Norm out on the town for any shopping or whatever he’d like to do.

SO! That’s the set schedule, but of course it can be tweeked for fun things that come up. I’m hoping that we can catch a couple of play, since that’s what it’s all about where we live. Can you believe that I have yet to go see a play since I’ve lived here…. terrible, I know.

Okay new subject: Britney

As discussed previously I’ve been nervous for Britney, my long lost sister, to move here. I was not ready to look at her as a sister and decided to approach her as a friend instead. It’s working. She’s a pretty cool person, and while we don’t have tons and tons in common, we haven’t had a silent moment yet. I guess the fact that we both despise our biological father is common enough huh? So, we’re doing well here 🙂

Best New Family Site

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If you’re anything like me right now, you’re running around with stressful household and basically, YOU’RE GOING CRAZY!!! First off, if you’re looking for ways to have a stress-free home, what the heck are you doing reading MY BLOG??? I’m still trying to figure it out, but I’ll tell you what ~ I think that RD.com – Parenting might just have the answers to all of our problems. You gotta love 7 Ways to Create a Happy Household.

I’ve been searching around on this website all morning and I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of the stuff that RD.com – Family Life has to offer their readers. They have awesome, awesome, awesome ideas for tips on traveling and I’m definitely going to be using their games for the road for any of our road trips we’re going to be taking this summer.

This actually might be my new favorite website. It goes beyond family tips and goes on to health, politics, basically everything you’re looking for on one, great site! So, stop stressing out and living in a unhappy home and go read some ways that you can change your family’s life. Our lives are so short and we all need to be happy, and through inspirational, amazing family stories and family tips that we never thought of ourselves, RD.com will help you get to the happy place in your family that you need.
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