and then there were 5

Through my pregnancy I was absolutely terrified that this little girl would enter this world and I wouldn’t be able to love her like I love Jayden and Ella.  I knew in my hear that this honestly in no way could even be possible, but I always had this small fear within me.

Aliyah came out and I thought WOW! She looks so much like Ella, and then I thought wait… she looks just like Jayden.  Then we discovered her eyebrows, eyes & nose are literally Jayden’s features to the T!  Then her mouth and cheeks are Ella to the T.  I got this perfect little miracle that’s both of my kids combined into one.

Oh, and that fear of not loving her the same way vanished the minute I heard her cry.  I am HEAD. OVER. HEELS. IN. LOVE!

Today Aliyah is 4 days old and she sleeps more than Ella & Jayden ever slept.  I don’t know if this is because I’m nursing her instead of formula feeding.  Speaking of nursing, it’s going amazingly well.  I’ve heard basically horror story after horror story and was pretty scared going into it, but am so glad I chose to go with it.  I don’t have a horror story yet, and hopefully don’t get one.  It doesn’t hurt and she’s loving it, and I never thought I’d say this but I’m loving it too.

Jayden is loving her and always says in the cutest voice, “She’s just so adorable!”  Ella has amazingly not shown one ounce of jealousy towards her new baby sister.  I don’t really understand why things are going to smoothly and why everyone is just perfectly happy, but they are and we are.

A little snippet about the day that I had Aliyah ~ 4 hours after I had her my mom showed up at the hospital with my children.  Ella walked in with this whole new attitude and I think I might have actually felt my heart break into two.  She didn’t want to hug me, she didn’t show any interest in her sister, all in all I thought it was going to be a horrible experience.  But then they handed Aliyah to Ella, and the look on her face in the pictures says so many things.  Most of all it shows the months and months of anticipation that Ella has gone through and finally being able to see her baby sister and hold her in her arms was everything to her.


After analyzing her and realizing the reality of her having a baby sister she decided that she absolutely loves her and I think her face here pretty much screams that

Then there’s the superstar big brother. Jayden has melted my heart with not only Ella, but now Aliyah as well. I have this video of him at the hospital when he came to meet her and he’s singing a lullaby to her. I have to say that I am beyond blessed to have Jayden as my son. He loves his sisters, and his love is so big that you can just feel it radiating off of him.


Gino and I are completely different this time around. With Jayden we were REALLY young and clueless, and didn’t even really get along with each other. With Ella we were 110% more comfortable and better at the whole parenting thing since we’d been parents for 6 years already. This time around we feel like we’re pros. She’s just fit perfectly into the crazy little family life we have going on here, and I feel like we know even more on how to adjust to a newborn in our family. The only major difference this time around is I’m breastfeeding, but I’m actually finding that more enjoyable and easier than bottle feeding….. especially in the middle of the night.

I have had an over abundance of help between my husband and my amazing and beautiful friend that lives right next door.  Gino took a month off of work and I’m so sad that this next week is his last week off.  It’s pretty much a subject that I don’t really want to talk about too much, because I could cry.

I can’t believe I have 3 kids!  I can’t believe we’re a family of 5!  I love it…. I have always wanted a big family and Gino and I are fulfilling OUR dream, and that’s all that matters.  Here’s our first family picture of us as a family of 5

We’re Homeschooling! And I’m STILL pregnant


I really got quite used to my blog break.  I must say though…. I NEEDED IT!  With everything going on in our lives right now, I needed 110% focus on my life.  Tonight as I sit in a very quiet living room, with my children fast asleep, I felt the desire to come on here and talk a bit about things going on.

I’m still pregnant!  Last doctor’s appointment was a week ago and I was dilated to a 2 and doctor didn’t think I’d make it all the way to my induction date.  Kinda put the reality of oh baby right in me!  Next appointment is Thursday and I CAN’T WAIT to see if there’s any progression.  The contractions have come more frequently and some even contain pain…. not cool!  In 2 weeks from today I will be induced, and I will get to kiss the sweet little face of my baby girl.

We are officially homeschooling!  The first week was a whirlwind and I thought to myself…. holy crap what in the world are we doing?!  There were days that Jayden would go to his room crying and I’d sit and think how is this going to work?!  Then amazingly, together we’d get down on our knees and pray to God for guidance, patience, understanding and it works.  We HAVE to start out our homeschool day with a prayer or strangely it just doens’t work.

Jayden’s thriving and loving it.  I’ve noticed Ella & Jayden becoming even more close {didn’t know that was possible} and that in itself makes me gleam inside.

Speaking of Ella we joined a preschool co-op!  She goes twice a week and LOVES IT!  I think it’s great for her too, because she’s still getting the homeschool setting (we rotate houses and who teaches weekly) but gets to be with other children her age.  We currently have 3 kids and will do a max of 4.  Ella’s been learning a lot lately.  I try to do school with her when I do school with Jayden.  She’s doing a Letter of the Week curriculum at home.  I’m not pushing her or drilling in her head things that I want her to know, I’m just introducing her and letting her take her time and enjoy letters.

So… the Garibays are happy, healthy and EXTREMELY busy!  I should be having more time to blog now that I feel things dwindling down a bit.  I had to get used to the new schedule of not working and homeschooling.  It’s working and we’re loving it!

There is a big belly now!

So I had to share with everyone my latest belly picture! I’m 34 weeks 3 days today and snapped this picture to show my very pregnant belly! Within the past few days I finally feel PREGNANT. So pregnant it’s hard for me to tie my shoes, pick things up off the ground ~ my backs hurting, I’ve had contractions…. nothing major, but a lot more than I remember w/the other 2 beauties of mine.

LOTS of movement! This little girl is having a party up in there. There’s only a little over 4 weeks until we get to meet her, and I am so nervous and so excited!!! I can’t believe our family is growing, but I love it. I love that we’ll have our big family that we’ve always dreamed of having. We’ll be able to create the family that we’ve envisioned having in our lives, which unfortunately we never got with our families. We don’t have the closeness that we want, so we create it within the walls of our home.

4th Myaversary ~ *Heavy Image*

Yesterday was our 4th Myaversary.  4 years ago yesterday we found out our baby girl was no longer alive inside of me.  Hardest most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced inside.

I talk about {Mya} often.  She’s not something I’ve pushed under the rug and moved easily on with life.  She is a part of me, and she is my daughter.  A daughter I haven’t met yet, but a daughter I felt inside of me.  She was growing inside of me, she kicked inside of me, she grew into my heart while she was inside of me.

We always send off balloons to Mya to heaven every year on our Myaversary.  I don’t know why we’ve never taken pictures of the balloons we’ve sent to her before, but this year was a special balloon and we took a special trip for her.

This year I wasn’t sad like I am normally on our Myaversary.  I think it has a lot to do with the if there was a Mya, there’d be no Ella.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in mending a broken marriage.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in bring a family that was so close to be broken to knowing what we mean to each other.  Mya made a way for Ella to enter this world into a family that was a family.  A family that was loving.  A family that was stable.

Mya, I thank you every day for making our family what it is today.  And that is something to celebrate.  And this face right here, is a face of a little girl with pure joy and happiness in her heart…. and I couldn’t fathom a life without her in it.

Our trip to the Oregon coast was a fun trip, but the wind was horrible! Made it very unenjoyable for Ella, but I did manage to get this cute picture of my family

Ella spent the majority of the time screaming if I didn’t have her covered entirely in a towel to protect her from the blowing sand. Such a bummer, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! Here’s my 2 wind blown babies.

This windblown baby loved everything about the trip…. loved the water, the wind, the birds to chase and I don’t post much about my Sophie girl… but here she is

and my wonderful husband managed to get this beautiful belly pic of me at 27 weeks pregnant with our newest baby girl that will be joining our family in December.

Then it came time to let go of the balloon for Mya ~ I found this special rose balloon, so I sent her off a Rose. You can click on the picture to make it bigger.

Our trip was quick, but it was a beautiful day. We celebrated what a beautiful little girl gave us, taught us and helped us become.

Mya,

I love you more than I’ll ever be able to explain. You will always be a special part of our lives, and we will always continue to celebrate our Myaversary. I know that you are with us, and that you watch over your little family. I know one day we will get to meet, and until that day I hope that I will continue to feel you around me.

I love you ~ Love, Mama

Fears of a Mama of 3 to Be


Oh my most favorite day of the week ever!

You think that your life feels complete and that there is nothing missing until the birth of your new child. I’m 26 weeks and 2 day pregnant.

I have fears inside of me that I had with Ella.

Fears that I know will vanish the moment I look into this baby girl’s eyes.

Fears that there’s no way I could love this baby as much as I love my other two children.

The love for your children is something that is so big, so powerful, and so incomprehensible, that you can’t imagine it for even a second. As much as I know that I love this little flipper in my stomach I can’t fathom loving anything or anybody as gut wrenchingly much as I love Jayden and Ella.

But you know what, I felt this exact same way when I was pregnant with Ella. I had fears of not loving her as much as I loved Jayden, because how in the world could I ever love anything as much as I love Jayden? The minute I looked into Ella’s eyes, she had my heart. This is something that I have to keep reminding myself. As fearful as I might be that there’s a chance I won’t love this baby…. It’s only a fear and I know that she’ll capture my heart the same way Jayden and Ella both did.

I’m starting to get anxious and excited about the arrival of the new baby. It’s hard to believe that in a few short months our life is going to be extremely changing. There’s going to be a little, teeny, tiny baby that’s our’s. It’s so surreal.

25 Weeks, 4 Days & what used to be a Due Date

**WILL EDIT TO ADD BELLY PICTURE & U/S PICTURE**

Today was my due date for the baby I lost in January of this year. It’s weird to me how both Ella & this baby’s pregnancy came right after the loss of another baby. Going to the doctor to find out that your baby has passed away is one of the most excruciating pains that I have ever experienced, and I’ve gone through it now twice.

I do believe that our trials and challenges in life help us to grow as a person. I do believe that while at the time of certain tragedies we don’t quite understand why, but I do believe there is a purpose. My first baby girl, Mya, who only made it to 18 weeks 4 days, mended my broken marriage. God sent her to us to bring us back together, since we had fallen so far apart. We were on the brink of divorce, and Mya changed that. She made it so that Ella was conceived out of love, out of a family that may have been broken at one time but because of Mya was stronger than it had ever been. Without losing Mya I’d have no Ella…. I can’t imagine. Ella has so much life, so much beauty to her.

The baby that was due today made it to 8 weeks. It grew to 8 weeks, I saw it’s heart beat, I started to love it. And then… it was taken from me. I cried, I mourned, I let myself feel the feelings I needed to feel, and then I talked to God. I told God I understand that there is a reason that this baby was not meant to say hello to this world. God knew what he was doing, because not even 2 months later he filled up my womb and my heart with this precious baby girl that I’m carrying now.

I haven’t blogged extremely much about this pregnancy. I haven’t taken weekly belly shot pictures this pregnancy. This pregnancy seems fake to me. I don’t know why, but I think the fact that I’m adding another beautiful member to my family doesn’t seem real.

A lot of times I’ll just be sitting here and I literally forget in my brain that I’m pregnant. Then, she kicks. She nudges me reminding me that there’s a little person inside of my body that will soon be filling up my heart with smiles and coos. She kicks and she nudges to remind me that SHE’S REALLY THERE and she’s going to fill up my arms in only a few very, short months.

Earlier this week we went to visit a friend who just had a baby girl. Everything about her was so little, so new, so precious. My children got to hold her. Ella got to hold her and watching Ella’s eyes light up warmed my soul to the very dang core! I cannot wait to see her with her baby sister.

We still have not named her. My babies are always named clear in the beginning of the pregnancy. This time, I just can’t decide. We have a few different options, Lyla Lee, Reese Lee, Amia Lee, Amia Reese ~ I have a feeling she won’t be named until we meet her.

I might not yet know this baby girl’s name, but what I do know is that she’s a part of me. She’s another piece to the puzzle of my family’s happiness. I do know that her arrival is being greatly anticipated by all of the members of her loving family that can’t wait to kiss her sweet face.

I’m 25 weeks and 4 days today. I’m feeling wonderful, I have my appetite back, I’m starting to really show. I think I’ve been getting emotional lately and might even have a tad of a mean streak in me, because things that didn’t bother me before irritate the crap out of me now. I don’t have much longer to go and then our home will be filled again with the beautiful sound of a newborn baby crying.

List of Randoms

Randoms ~ things going through my mind

~ I have become completely obsessed with cleaning out my garage. I think about it all day while I’m at work and every box I empty out I seriously feel like doing a happy dance.

~Once the garage is completely cleaned out I have plans on making a super awesome playroom since baby #3 will mean less room.

~I have found things while cleaning out my garage that are priceless and things I thought were lost…. Mya’s u/s picture. This might sound morbid, but I really wish that they would have printed out an u/s picture when we discovered that she had passed away. I wonder if it’s in my charts that the Sacramento office sent over to my Medford OBGYN. I just might ask. The u/s picture I found was from our first appt. There’s just a little sac, but she was in it and that is something I always want to treasure.

~Now that I’ve found her u/s picture I want to create a shadow box in remembrance of her. And get another urn necklace made w/the remainder of her ashes to put inside of it. I am so relieved that we still have ashes since Ella flushed my original urn necklace down the toilet…. That was a sad, sad day.

~I’ve also found my mother’s Book of Mormon from when she was a little girl. That to me is a priceless treasure.

~My daughter is turning 3 on Saturday. She’s overwhelmingly excited for her party on Saturday and I’m overwhelmingly excited for her! She’s anticipated this day for a VERY long time.

~I’m on my 3rd week of work. I’m surviving and I actually kind of enjoy it. The break from the house was probably much needed, especially with a new baby on the way…. But my heart definitely misses my kids.

~I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Very uneventful, but those are the best in my opinion. I was in and out and won’t be back for another 4 weeks. Baby’s heartbeat was beautiful. On Sunday I will be 6 months pregnant! It’s flying by! Still have no morning sickness and have been feeling absolutely wonderful. About dang time!

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The BIG news!!!!!

I am SOOOOO excited to announce that we will be having another GIRL!!!!  I am so excited for this on so many different levels.  Ella is going to have a SISTER!  I’m going to have my girls… we will get to all go out and get pedis and get our hair done together and go shopping together. 

I never said what I really wanted, because either way of course I’d be happy, but the fact that it’s a GIRL excited me to the very core.  

The girls will outweigh the boys in the Garibay home!

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PREGNANCY UPDATE! 15 Weeks 1 Day

So, as I write this out I’m actually 15 weeks 4 days, but I’m updating on my doctor’s appointment that happened on Monday.

Weight:  Total Down: 14lbs ~ Down 8lbs in 4 weeks (from my last appointment)  Doctors aren’t thrilled, but what can I do.

Baby ~ heart beat was there…. always a scary moment for me when they’re looking for it.  It was sortof an uneventful {that’s never a bad thing} appointment.

I felt the baby move at 13 weeks exactly, but it isn’t a constant thing I feel.  Sometimes I think I feel a flutter, and today it seems to have picked up a bit more.  My stomach within the past couple of days has completely bulged out and I’m finally actually looking pregnant.  This has been so bizarre for me, because normally I start showing REALLY early on… this time it’s taken me almost 4 months to show at all.

Morning sickness came back in full mode, but for the past 3 days I’ve kept everything down!  I’m not taking any medications besides Pepcid, so maybe I’m finally getting to the point of feeling good.  Crossing my fingers!

I have a high risk u/s scheduled for 7/6/10, so I’ll get to find out the sex then!  Then I have another u/s on 7/13/10.  I get high risk u/s done because of Mya.  Everything is going wonderful with this pregnancy and there’s no reason to believe that anything bad could happen.  I think this baby is here to stick around… well, it better be!

I am going to start doing my belly shots on Sunday so luck you guys get to see my belly!

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12 Weeks, 4 Days and counting!

This pregnancy is going really well. We’re already in the 2nd trimester and my throwing up is finally coming to a halt (thanks so much to the drugs my OB prescribed me). Between the throwing up and my complete loss of an appetite to any food that isn’t a fruit or a vegetable has put my weight gain to a whopping -10 lbs. YUP ~ I’ve lost 10 pounds this pregnancy… and I’m not complaining!


We’ve been fortunate to see the baby a few times already throughout this pregnancy, and the latest was yesterday. And I fell head over heels IN LOVE! The baby was moving all around and had its hands above its head ~ complete cuteness! I even have a picture here for you to see.


Ella is completely convinced that it’s a boy, I’m convinced it’s a girl, and Jayden’s praying it’s a boy. Gino doesn’t care… he just wants his cuddle bear here.


So, here’s the u/s pic from yesterday. If you look you can see the head, the body the baby’s arms over its head and you can even see its little fingers. Pure love coming from this mama’s heart!

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