My heart started pounding, and I thought to myself…. what am I doing????

I woke up yesterday and knew something wasn’t the way it’s supposed to be.  I’m happy, I’ve got my goals in place, and even though life for me is not a mirror of perfection, it’s my life.  The mistakes I make are mine, and they’re mine to learn from and grow from.  I try so hard to learn from my mistakes and not get in ruts that continue on and on and on.

I’m struggling lately.  I’m struggling with homeschooling.  I am scared that I am making one of the biggest mistakes by homeschooling Jayden.  I also am scared that I’m making the biggest mistake in sending Ella to school.  See the dysfunction going on in my head??  It’s one of those damned if you do, damned if don’t things.  The bottom line is parenting is hard.  Like holy freaking crap HARD!  Well, scratch that…. being a GOOD parent is hard.  The majority of parents out there are good parents, and while they might have totally different views than I do, there main purpose is to do the right thing by their child, and that’s what makes a good parent.

I’m trying really hard to just figure out what my heart is telling me.

The scariest part of all of this:  it’s only going to get harder and harder as the years come!


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