Every night I lay down and I look at Ella and rub her cheek and I thank God that she is still with me. Every time I think of what happened to her my stomach just flips upside down. Today I felt so bad, because she had to get shots. She was so happy and just cooing at the nurse and then she stuck her and Ella screamed her head off. And of course I’ve spent the majority of today listening to her heart over and over again. We’ve almost gone 3 months w/out Ella having to be rushed off to the hospital and I couldn’t be more thankful for all of the prayers that have gone Ella’s way.
The thought that runs through my mind the most is what made Ella’s doctor want to see her the day after I had brought her in? I have never had a doctor do that. I’ve brought Jayden to the doctors when he was sick and after the doctor checked him over they didn’t call me the next day and say “We just want to check him out since it’s Friday and the weekend’s coming up.” When Ella’s doctor’s office called and said this I almost hesitated to be honest, but thought might as well, she’s still sick. Little did I know that my daughter’s organs were starting to shut down. Little did I know that her heart rate was at 280. Little did I know that in a couple more hours I’d be holding a baby that stopped breathing. Little did I know that my whole world was going to be flipped upside down and forever changed at that moment. Little did I know that I would learn just how much I loved this little girl. I thought she was going to die. To see her laying there lifeless was a feeling I can’t even describe. To have tubes breathing for her was the most horrible sight I’ve ever seen in my life. To have to drive 4 long hours in the middle of the night to Portland while she was being mediflighted there. Not knowing if she made it. Yet, getting that phone call and having the best sigh of relief I’ve ever had – the plane has landed and they’re on their way to the hospital.
One thing that always sticks out in my mind is that next morning – 7am shift change. We’d barely had any sleep since we had arrived there at 4am. But I heard the nurse walk in to the room and say, “This one’s awake in here.” Gino and I jumped up so quick and ran to her side. She just looked at us w/her big beautiful eyes and tried to move her mouth like she wanted to tell us everything that had happened to her and even tried to cry, but there was a tube going down her throat. My little precious, 7 week old, newborn baby.
I cannot express how thankful I am for every prayer that was said for her. For God carrying her in his arms.
Even though she’s had no episodes, she still has her heart problem. I still give her medication every 8 hours. On that ECHO her WPW will still be there. So please pray if you pray that Ella stays healthy.
Thank you.
