I miss her

The past couple of days I’ve been thinking a lot about Mya. Jayden got 2 balloons yesterday at dinner and he sent them both up to heaven. One for Mya and the other for Mr. & Mrs. Fishy. His fish died from being sucked up the filter. It was ironic that he did that, because I was thinking earlier that day about the day I found out her heart was no longer beating. I remember the awful drive home, alone, from the doctor’s office. Having to be stuck in the horrible traffic crying. I remember my mom pulling up to my house as I did. Walking over to her and her hugging me and me just sobbing. I remember walking into the house and Gino making tacos, one of the things I craved the most. I remember the shirt I was wearing. I remember the pain in my heart. I swear I felt her presence recently. I don’t know if it was her or the Holy Ghost comforting me, but something was with me and it made me actually stop and close my eyes and grasp on to that feeling.

I miss her. I have accepted that she’s gone, why she’s gone, but I miss her.

Are you having anymore?

I get this question a lot. Probably at least once a week from some random person. They ask, are you having anymore kids? Or are you done since you have a girl and a boy. I truly do feel blessed that I have a girl and a boy and can be done if that’s what we wish for. I’ve even been told that I should get my tubes tied, which honestly I don’t believe is anyone’s business. However, here’s my issue….

I love my sister. I love that I have a sister. I couldn’t imagine not having my sister in my life and I’ve really thought a lot about this after she came up to visit this weekend. I can’t guarantee that if I ever did decide to have another kid it would be a girl, but I don’t like the idea of Ella not having a sister. So, I have no intentions of having anymore kids anytime soon (Ella needs 6 years of quality time like Jayden got), but I don’t like the idea of never having anymore kids ever again. Yet, I feel like my family is complete. I guess what’s meant to be in life will be. I just think it would be sad if Ella never got the chance to have a sister.

Ironic

We moved to Oregon a year and 3 months ago. When we had first moved here there was one time that we went to Lithia Park and was letting Jayden play. I was still pregnant with Ella. There was this girl there that we were talking with and she seemed like a really cool girl! Her husband was out of town in Las Vegas and she was there with her 3 kids. She talked about how she lived above this dentist office in a loft. That caught my attention, because I always thought living in a loft would be really cool!

We ended up going our separate ways and I was kindof sad that I never got her phone number. She seemed like the type of girl I would really get along with. Especially since I had just moved here and really had no friends.

Tonight we went to the YMCA to our Aqua Aerobics and when we walked in a friend from church was in the pool. Her name is Sandy. She was playing with her kids and we told her about how we were getting ready to do the class. She waited until her husband came down to watch the kids then she joined us. I asked her if she lived close by and she told us that she lived in a loft above a dentist’s office. I told her about how this one girl one time told us about living in a loft and it sounded really cool.

Well, the class ended and I get out of the pool and Gino tells me, “Sandy is that girl! The girl from Lithia park.” I looked at him like he was crazy. There was no way that the girl I really wanted to be friends with was a friend of mine. NO WAY! I finally walked over to Sandy and asked if she used to have her hair this way and did her husband go to Vegas last year, and sure enough… Sandy is her.

How cool is that?

Smell goods in my house

My sister walked into my house this past weekend and one of the first comments she made was how she wished that her house smelt as good as mine. I love to have a home that smells good. I’ve tried so many different smell goods and most of the time nobody notices, or they smell horrible. Neither thing is a good thing. Then I tried a new product called Renuzit Tri Scents and it transformed my home. It’s hard sometimes when you have a baby and diapers and all the lovely smells that babies can make in your home. Sure, they’re cute and can smell pretty, but that only goes so far to be honest. Renuzit Tri Scents helps out with covering the smells that you just don’t want others smelling. I know, I know, I should just not be lazy and take the diapers out to the dumpster, but come on…. if you know me, you know that ain’t happening. They’ll go right in the garbage and they’ll stay there until my husband decides to take out the garbage.

I first started out by putting it right next to my garbage can and it did amazing things, people. Things I didn’t know things could do! Thank you TriScents! Thank you! Next was in my living room and after all the many compliments I put one upstairs and one in my bathroom as well. It makes things smell so delicious! If you head over to http://www.triscents.com, you can print out a coupon and get your home smelling as good as mine does.

4 Sisters First Time Together

In addition to my sister Jessica coming up this weekend, we went to a BBQ at my dad’s house (not her dad). History was made in this family and we actually got all the sisters together for the first time. This doesn’t include Jessica. Jessica is my sister from my mom. Jessica is my sister that I grew up with.

These sisters are from my dad. These sisters I didn’t grow up with. These sisters I’m just getting to know. My dad has 4 daughters with 4 different women. We have never all been together before. This was the first and my dad actually cried. Here’s a couple of pictures of all of us together for the first time.

Starting on the top left it goes: Me (25 well, 26 in like 22 days) Alyssa (15 1/2) Brittney (18) on the bottom is Tiona (9 1/2) and there you have it.


My Sister Weekend

This past weekend was wonderful. My sister came up to visit me for the first time since I left Sacramento. We had so much fun! We took the kids to get their pictures taken and I can’t wait to get them back! They turned out soooooo good! It makes me so sad that the cousins, including Mitch’s baby girl Alana can’t grow up together. Vani was so cute this weekend. He has such an independent personality and it’s amazing how each and every child is so different!!! I love that little boy so much and am sad that I’m not in his life the way Jess & Mitch were in Jayden’s life. I feel so bad that they don’t get a chance to be in Ella’s life the way that they were in Jayden’s. However, we have to be happy and we weren’t happy in Sac.

Vani did so many cute things! The first night he got here, Jayden had wrapped himself in a blanket and ended up falling asleep. When Jess went out to get their stuff they had their pillows. Vani ripped the pillow away from Jessica and threw it on the floor. Then he went over to Jayden and lifted up the blanket from over his head and yelled “Hey!” and then pointed to the pillow. It was so sweet. He just wanted his big cousin to sleep on a pillow. Jess and I almost cried over the situation.

Another cute thing that Vani did was we went out to breakfast and Ella was in her car seat sleeping. She was on the floor next to him. After he ate his breakfast he wanted her to eat so he kept trying to give her eggs. It was sweet! It also resulted in him throwing eggs on her.

Hopefully we can all get together more often. It’s so important for our kids to know each other. And for us all to know our nieces and nephews.

Here’s a couple pictures of our fun weekend together.

Jess & Me

Jayden pushing Vani through the mall

Me & Jess

Ella w/her auntie & Geo

Awww they love their auntie!

Here’s all of us at Lithia Park

Jayden & Vani had so much fun together!

Ella loving bread sticks at Olive Garden

Vani with Popito (My Grandma’s dog)

Jess, My Grandma & Vani (First time my Grandma met her Great-Grandson)

This picture shows all their personalities ~ you just gotta know them!

Blurry but so cute!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ella

Ella & her Auntie

One tired baby!

I left tonight for my Aqua Aerobics class, which I’m loving, and I told Gino that Ella was exhausted. This is exactly how tired she was~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yes, he did move her after he took the picture.

Freak out panic – goals will help!

Sometimes life just seems to fly by so fast and I feel like it’s slipping through my fingers. I’ve finally been given the perfect opportunity to be able to work at home and raise my kids and I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am to be in a position like that. Yet, I still feel like the world is moving so fast.

Ella will be 1, Jayden will 7, I’m turning 26 and my husband just turned 27. Wow. I remember my mom being 26. Sadly, it seems like it was just yesterday and that scares the crap out of me. There’s so many things that I need to do and want to do and instead right now I’d like to put my face in a pillow and scream.

I was on a great track, with a great schedule. Things were getting done and all was happy!!! I feel a little unbalanced right now, and I need to get myself and my children back on a healthy schedule. I need to have a home cooked meal on my table for my family at least 5 days/week. I need Ella to be on a set napping/eating schedule and I need to have a set working schedule. It’s hard with Ella, but there’s no reason that anything should feel out of control ~ and honestly it really isn’t.

Lately Ella hasn’t wanted me to do anything but sit on the floor and stare at her. She’s a total Leo! She wants all the attention and the world needs to be centered on her ~ sometimes it’s hard. However, now I finally get to see what my mom got to deal with. Yes, I too am a Leo.

I’ve taken time to get organized, and I’m not 110% there yet, but I will be. I think that once things are perfectly filed and organized & my spreadsheets are updated and accounts reconciled things will be okay with me. My job honestly does not take up that much time, but it does if things aren’t organized the way they’re supposed to be.

I’m giving myself 2 weeks to be caught up on everything in my life. I need my schedules back, I need my family to feel like a family again and I need to have SET working hours.

I think I need to start off by setting myself some daily goals. Things I MUST accomplish in my home, my family, my work & myself. Sadly, sometimes there’s not enough hours in the day, but I need to start allocating my time better. I owe it to my family & myself. Tomorrow is a new day….. Here are tomorrows goals:

Work:
1) Spend 30 minutes on filing (this will probably accomplish it all)
2) Send off deposits
3) Pay all bills

In regards to my work – there’s a lot to do right now, and there’s a lot of ideas that I’m working on to make the business better. I’m going to work on a master list and I think this is going to help out so much!

Household:

1) Do 3 loads of laundry – 1 of which is bedding
2) Babyproof my room/office
3) Clean kitchen (since I’m too tired to do it tonight)

With Jayden:

1) In the morning work on reading workbook & 1 math sheet
2) Play board game w/him during the evening

I feel better. Getting things out in a list always makes me feel better. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day!

Jayden’s Graduation

Sorry!! I just realized that I have yet to upload pictures and talk about Jayden’s graduation. So here it is.

It was an emotional day. I can’t even express enough how proud of him I am. At the beginning of the school year I was nervous. I wasn’t sure how well he would adapt and he did great!!! Jayden has shown amazing progress and is such a smart little boy.

Here’s a couple fun facts about Jayden during his Kindergarten year:

Teacher: Yvonne Geisel
Best Friend: Bean (Zachary)
Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Food: Pizza
Favorite Game: I Spy
Favorite Subject: Story Time
Girlfriend: Alexis

Jayden w/his friend Bean (Zachary)

Jayden w/his girlfriend Alexis – hey, they went strong all year!

Jayden w/his teacher

Now we have a fun, busy summer to look forward to and next year is when it all really starts. I’ve been dreading the number grades, because it’s like a countdown (or should I say up) to when my baby will be going to Harvard or Yale.

I like her!

Who would’ve thought. I really like Brittney ~ if you’re just joining me here, she’s a sister from my dad that I’ve never known. She just moved here and we have formed an awesome relationship!! I think she’s a great girl and while we’re so different, we’re so alike. Who would’ve thought? I’m glad I gave her a chance and can’t wait to get to know her better.

I just want to give a big thanks to you, Sam, for giving me the wonderful advice. I love you and I love you for telling me like it is… always. You were in my life for such a short time, but you will forever be a wonderful friend of mine.

Brittney has actually spent lots of time here at my home helping me with my kids and my work. She’s very enjoyable. She came with my Grandma and I to a water aerobics class at the YMCA (which I loved!) and they got along great as well. My Grandma is my mom’s mom and Brittney is my sister through my dad… so they have no relation.

It looks like Brittney might actually move in with my Grandma since my Grandma has 2 extra rooms and is lonely. Brittney has a place to live, but unfortunately wouldn’t be having her own room ~ I think this is going to work out great! Brittney might be able to find a job at the Y or somewhere else in Ashland and my Grandma won’t be so lonely, I think it all just might work out GREAT!