I’m Reparenting…. blogging the journey!

I’m reparenting. Ella has turned into a little tornado and I’m in the process of kicking it square in the butt before I end up with a sassy little teen! I blogged the other day about how out of control she’s been lately, and I’ve decided to just buckle down and get this under control.

I’m not gonna lie… it’s been DOWNRIGHT DIFFICULT! She’s used to getting away with a lot because I would prefer to just give in than do the hard work of sticking it out and sticking to my word. That’s where I have been failing as a parent. I owe it to her to teach her that she has rules, she has to respect her parents and that we are here to love her, and ensure that she is raised the right way!

We’d been through so much with Ella that I think we both just sortof let things slide. I’d think oh that’s nice, she just poured her lemonade out all over her…. well, at least she’s alive to be able to do that. It could be so much worse, because she could not be here. So instead of getting frustrated and getting on her we both instead let things slide. HUGE MISTAKE! I’m just happy that I’m changing things before it’s too late.

Consistency. I’m being as consistent as a rock is hard! Not easy… takes and extreme amount of patience {blogged about that today} so not only is this changing her, but it’s changing me. We are both being changed for the better. I’m finding that life is actually 110% easier when giving the toddler boundaries, and she’s realizing that MOM MEANS BUSINESS!

I think the most shocking thing ever is that I’m seeing results so quickly. I’m giving her choices for the most part on things, and she’s picking one or the other and realizing that this is the way it is. However, the little smartie realized that she can say that she wants an option that I’m not giving her…. EXAMPLE: Tonight I was working in my room/office and had the baby gate up so she couldn’t come inside. She was having a MELTDOWN! I gave her the option of either going to hang out with her dad downstairs for her brother in their room. She thought long and hard about this and said, “Mama!” CRAP! That was not an option….. how is her little brain able to think outside of the box? Oh! I know, because she’s abnormally smart!

Today for naptime she slept in her own bed. I didn’t have to continually put her in her bed, she layed down (which is normally a fight) and asked for “Bobby” and I told her that she’d be a big girl and get a sticker if she’d lay down and take a nap in her bed. Almost 3 hours late she opened her door and came out with a huge smile on her face. She was PROUD OF HERSELF!!!!! And I was just as proud of her too!!

As I type this extremely long novel of our events here she’s sleeping in her bed. Ever since I layed her down in her bed she’s stayed there. If it lasts all night long she’s getting cake for breakfast! Okay, I’m totally kidding, but she’ll get to add a sticker to her chart that we’re going to make her tomorrow.

I know that parenting is hard, but seeing the benefits of having patience and sticking with it makes it so worth it. I feel not only proud of her, but proud of myself as well for having the patience she deserves and showing her that she has boundries and she MUST respect her parents.

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God, please HELP!!!!!!

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I realized on this trip that I AM SCREWED! There’s no pretty word for what I forsee in my future… nope, no pretty word AT. ALL!
You see, I have this little 2 year old that has the attitude of a young little tween all packed with a load of hormones.  

I know this, 
I see this, 
but I really 
NEED TO GET ON DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!


She hits, she thinks it’s hilarious to NOT listen, she glares, rolls her eyes, yells…. oh shit! I’m describing myself!!!!  Damn it, {Kandi}!  You were right…. all I needed to do this whole time was look in the damn mirror to figure out where she gets all this from.  This little devilish precious walking mini me CANNOT turn out ANYTHING like me {well, me as an adolescent} .  So, I’ve gotta roll up the sleeves and get to work on her.  I’m realizing that just because she has a heart problem doesn’t mean that she should get away with EVERYTHING….. so I’m about to embark on a world of hardness….. expect many blog posts about this.



Any advice for me? 

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Ella is 2 and is acting like a stripper… I’m worried

I’m sure I’ve blogged about this before, but just in case I haven’t I HAVE TO DO IT NOW! A while ago my ever so ghetto brother decided he would give Ella a dollar. When he gave it to her, he opened up her pull up and stuffed it on the side…. stripper style.


That has stuck with this little girl…. and I’m a little afraid about her future.


Any time she sees money, she grabs it and sticks it in her pull up… coupons… in her pull up. The other day I had $5.00 sitting on the table for Jayden’s book fair, and it was gone! Gino and I were looking everywhere. Ella was standing by the ottoman in her pull up and I walked over, pulled open her pull up to find the $5.00 nestled in there.


Should I be worried?

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And she counts

There are moments in our children’s life that we do not want to forget. Moments we wished we documented, moments we wished we had gotten on video tape.

Today, I’m noting a momentous event here, now. It has not yet been video recorded (but it will) but I know that blogging is one of the fabulous perks of being able to have one place where I know where all things are.

Ella counts. She counts like this:

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10

and it’s the cutest thing in the world. And I love her so much.

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Potty Training at its FINEST


I have got to say…. having a puppy and a toddler together is one big fricking circus in this house!
The dog is pretty much potty trained.
I can’t even begin to describe the excitement in my soul about this!
The toddler is in potty training process….
It’s going well….
She actually went by herself yesterday, and decided to not put on her pullup
Instead just the pajama pants…
and I had NO. I-DEA…….
until droplets of poop starts coming out of the bottom of her pants in the kitchen.
After rushing her to toilet and then back to clean up the poop,
I found it had already been cleaned up for me…
by the puppy….

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Tonight My Heart is Heavy

Life is short. Boy is it ever so short. I talked on my blog a while back about my problems with my IUD and how I was going through hormone testing and the Nurse Practitioner that I was seeing was WONDERFUL. She was so nice, layed back, took the time to hear you out. I loved her! I just found out that in April she fell and slipped into a coma… and she never came out of it.  Just like that, a wonderful person gone from this world.  





Today is a little girl that will just melt your heart’s 2nd birthday.  However, she’s not here to celebrate it.  I’ve seen her pictures all over people’s blog and waited until today to finally head over to her mom’s blog and get to know sweet Maddie.  Oh my goodness….. I sat here tonight reading her mom’s letter to her today and cried and cried and hugged my babies.  One day she was here, the next day she was gone.  Life is so short.  And Maddie’s story really makes you stop, think and appreciate every moment that you are given with your babies.


To read all about Maddie… go {HERE} for her mama’s blog or {HERE} for her Daddy’s blog.  I waited a really, really long time to suck it up and cry with them… but I’m so happy I did.  I hope you too will go and become a friend of Maddie… she’ll melt your heart.

I have been so close to losing Ella, that stories like these crush me.  I’ve been there…. I’ve actually sat there hearing them call codes on my little girl.  At one point I thought she was gone… I know what it’s like to drop to your knees and pray that your baby won’t die…. and I’m so fortunate to still have her here.  I can’t imagine what not only Heather & Mike (Maddie’s Mama & Daddy) but all of the parents in this world that have had to suffer the heart wrenching loss of a child have had to go through… and still go through every, single day.

My heavy heart can go on and on.  I feel like I’m mourning a sister.  I haven’t unleashed the drama that’s been going on, but I’ve decided to break my silence and talk about how I feel.  My sister has turned into somebody that I do not like.  Somebody who talks disgustingly and someone that I am ashamed to say is my sister.  My sister wouldn’t act the way she’s been acting.  But in the end I think I’ve learned something that I’ve always known.  You turn into who you hang around.  So, it’s so vital that you choose to hang around people that inspire you, challenge you to grow, and have virtue, values & morals.  Because if you choose to hang out with anything less, unfortunately you will be less.  I am in mourning, because things that have been said can’t be taken back.  I have been challenging myself to personal growth, and during personal growth you need to ensure that you are not surrounded by people who hold you back, live negatively and have no virtue, values or morals, because the last thing you want to do is turn into them.  

Life is short though, and I’m sad to say that I’ve had to accept the fact that my sister and my brother are both individuals that will always be stuck in their rut.  Living a life that is not something to be proud of, and until they accept this and learn and grow from this they’ll never change.  They will continue to always be hustling their way through life.  A life without honesty, a life without morals…. it’s so unfortunate.  But I have to remember that in order for me to continue with my personal growth I have to stay away from them.  I have to look at the negativity they hold, the hate they hold, the evil they hold in them and pray for them.  My brother is not someone that has ever had good in him.  I’ve been through it all with him, and honestly feel quite secure in not being in his life.  Anybody who can walk away from their own flesh & blood child and deny them is evil.  My sister, however, I’ve always loved her.  It’s unfortunate what’s happened, but I’m okay with it now.  Yes, Jessica, I do check your myspace status, because I want to see how my niece and nephew are doing.  The things you put on there lets the ghetto and trash in you shine on.  I wish we could mend this crap we’re going through, but I’ve realized since it’s started that you are not a person that I want in my world… and fortunately I get to choose who’s in my world.  I choose class, virtue, morals, and people striving to better themselves, which are things you don’t hold.  I hope one day you learn how to.

My heart is heavy, but at the end of the day I have a wonderful husband that makes me happier than I ever thought possible.  A son that never fails to put a smile on my face and warm my heart and a daughter that is and always will be  my rainbow after the storm.  My heart is heavy, but I love every thing I have in my life.  I feel fortunate to have the blessings that continue to pour down on my family.  I will continue to keep my prayers with those in this world that truly need it….. and I will continue to send my balloons to the people in heaven like Mya, my precious daughter who will always have a huge piece of my heart with her, Maddie, who has touched a world of people with her beautiful eyes and smile, and Karen… my nurse who woke up one day and didn’t know it was going to be her last.
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A little edition of my kids say

I figured it was time for another little blog post about the things that my kids say…. the things that shock me and make me laugh and wonder WHERE DID THEY GET THAT FROM?!?!


Ella: The other night we were sitting down eating dinner and this little girl who just turned 2 in August told her dad “I don’t have to.” After he told her to eat her dinner. She said it with a little attitude on her face and Gino and I just looked at each other with this look like… Oh boy, we’re in for it!


Jayden: This one was hilarious! Where he got this is beyond me!! We were pulling into the Walmart parking lot when we saw a cop pulling someone over. Jayden says very softly, “Oh no… there’s a cop. Just drive slow and act natural!” Haha!!!!!

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I can’t even describe how much I love them

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I have to say that this picture is probably one of the most breath taking pictures I’ve taken so far. And I say so far, because trust me – I plan to catch many, many more precious moments like these in these 2 crazy kids’ lives.


I love how Jayden is with his little sister. I love how he’s always there to help her out… and this picture just shows exactly how that is… he will always be there to help her up in life… I know it. And I love it.

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The Run Down…

Ella has developed this high pitch squealing scream when she sees anything that’s little girl related. Then following that scream is her saying, “Ella!” She’s explaining to us all that since that is something that she loves it is Ella’s. I love that. I love the excitement that comes squealing out of her. I just am absolutely head over heels in love with this precious little girl! 


 Today it has been 2 years and 12 days since we discovered that our little precious princess has a heart problem. 2 years and 12 days since we learned that life is so precious and that horrible, sad things can happen to you, and more sadly to our children. I am so happy to say that Ella has been off of her medication for over a month now without any signs of SVT. It’s scary, but it’s something that her doctor really wanted to test and we’re listening to him. I don’t think that Gino’s on the same page as me on this… in fact I don’t even think I’m on the same page as myself, but for some reason I feel strongly about listening to what he says.


She is just this little bundle of smarts that I’m almost not too sure on what to do with. For a little girl just turning 2 I get a little concerned at how much she knows. How much she soaks in. I need to make sure that I am doing every thing I can to make sure that her little mind is soaking things up…. and good things! She’s already interested in colors, numbers, I feel like she’s going to be reading by the time she’s 3. I’m extremely proud of her.


Jayden has been adjusting well with his new class. It definitely does help that it is his old teacher. I’m going to start helping him with goals so that he can feel the excitement when he accomplishes that goal.


I’m currently working on my goals that I plan to accomplish this month, this year, and for the next 5 years. I think that my plan is to sit down with him and do this with him. Have him have his goals written out just like mom and we can get excited together and for each other.


Gino and I are getting more and more excited about the new direction we are taking our life. We both feel so fortunate to have been given an amazing opportunity that will not only change our lives, but our children’s lives, and children’s children’s lives… FOREVER.


So, life has been busy… but in such a good way!  We are in the middle of building this amazing company and I can’t even begin to describe how exciting and fun our new adventure is for us.

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She Prayed… and my heart melt

I wrote a couple of minutes ago a Just a Motivating Monday on a special poem that touches my heart. There are moments in my life where something so precious, so sweet happens that I just want to stop and kiss that precious smile.

Yesterday my daughter did something that was downright PRECIOUS! The girl is only 26 months and in the middle of playing she walked over to the ottoman put her hands by her eyes, her face into the ottoman and started rambling. I heard her say princess and a couple of odd off the wall things, then she says “Amen” stands up and smiles… I said to her “Were you praying?” and she says… “YUP!” and my heart melt at that moment. And I felt like an extremely good mom, and am proud of the example that I am setting for her.

They watch everything that you ever do…. make sure that you’re setting the right example.

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